Others' Success Is Not My Failure.

So this is my third attempt at writing today's blog. I started a few times... had some witty opening lines... then realized..... it made no sense. Not that a lot of my rants make much sense... but if I can't understand it.. and I wrote the bullshit... then it needs to be erased. So, alas, here I go again.

Basically, today I was faced with something that I fight with all the time. Other people's success stories... and how they effect me! (did I use the correct word 'effect' or should I have used 'affect?'.... I dont know.... if this shit ever turns into the next Eat, Pray, Love then my editor can figure that shit out.) Back to my story already! GEEZ! So... there I was at this new place, I don't know if any of you have heard of it... it is called Starbucks. I was there with my friend who recently found out that he was cast in a regional production of Hairspray in a role that he did in the closing Broadway company of the same show. I was beyond excited for him, he is amazingly talented and from everyone I have heard from that has either worked with him in the show or seen him in it...he nails the role. Also, I know from experience that when you do a show with certain creative teams, and you don't suck and aren't difficult to work with, they tend to use you again...and again... It's part of the business! I experienced it with Swing! for quite a few years! So, even though I am never going be able to play the role he got, there was still a moment where I allowed his success to make me sad that I don't have a job waiting. Not only that... but that I haven't been called in to audition for anything in a while. THEN.... another person that we know, found out that she was cast in the same show as my friend.... and once again.... as happy as I was for her... I felt the insecurity creep in through the back door.... not my anus.... but figuratively speaking none the less. I've read before that 'One person's success is not my failure.' and I totally agree with this... but why do I continue to allow it to bother me? I'm not sure...which is why I'm rhetorically posing this question... and what is it that I can do about it? I was thinking about a few options. 1) Tell my friends to go fuck themselves every time they get a job. (not sure how that will go over) 2) As soon as they tell me the good news.... I throw up on them. (might be hard to do that on cue) 3) After they inform me of their recent conquest, I whip out my balls and tea bag them. (Starbucks might not like this one since they sell tea bags....and that would be the same as bringing outside food to the movies.)

My goal..... in addition to starting to get called in for these roles.... these shows.... etc, is to be as supportive and excited for my friends as I always am.... and when I feel those feelings of inadequacy creep in... to just acknowledge them.... and remind myself that their success has absolutely NOTHING TO DO WITH ME! I guess the first step in acknowledging this pattern... and just living The Power of Now.

Thank you for reading my blog-arrhea!

Oh.... and I have some of the most talented friends. I am blessed.

Tea Bag this!

Ven