Friday, August 13, 2010

What's My 'Type'?

What's my 'Type?' Well, that seems like a question that could be answered many ways, but let's keep this as non-pornographic as possible... Okay... well maybe a little pornography might slip in (pun intended) at some point during this entry, but that's just cause I am who I am. I can't help it, I came out of the womb thinking about sex, which is understandable... since I, like a lot of humans, came out of a Vagina! DUH! I might be less sex-crazed had my mom had a c-section, and I can only imagine what I would have been like had I been breast fed! I'd probably be in some back room right now, paying some one-eyed, toothless dwarf for a rusty trombone and a hummer.

But back to the subject at hand... this is a question that I struggle with. In this business you tend to hear people talk about 'type' a lot. But what is my type? Let's break me down physically for a second. (Now please understand... I am not fishing here... I have been self-diagnosed with body dysmorphia, and no matter how accurately I try to describe my facial features...someone always tells me I'm crazy.) So, let's get started. I am about 5' 10"-5' 11". I usually weigh somewhere between 170-177 lbs. I am happy to say I still have a 29/30 inch waist..... but have recently learned that if I buy pants in a 31-32, I CAN WEAR SKINNY JEANS!! FINALLY!! (it only took me 30+ years to figure that out.) I have been working out a bunch since one of my dance partners in the national tour of Swing! looked at my stomach 10 years ago, and said, "you could lose that if you wanted to." So, now I am obsessed with being as skinny as possible while maintaining muscle mass... but this in itself has become a bit of a problem, cause now... that seems to be the only thing people see when they look at me...Oh... and I'm a compulsive eater... which gets in the way too. (Seriously... you should see the amounts of food I can devour in one sitting... I mean COME ON... I have in my bio "Ven loves all-you-can-eat seafood buffets and chicken wings"... that wasn't a joke... I DO!) Anyway, I'm not huge.. but I think it is pretty obvious that I am a frequent visitor to the gymnasium. I have a receding hairline that people tell me isn't that bad... but I think these bitches are lying to me... and I can't stop obsessing over it every time I look in the mirror. I'm not even exaggerating..... EVERY TIME I LOOK IN THE MIRROR! Sometimes I look in the mirror JUST to obsess over it. Um, I have what I like to call... and Comb-FORWARD! (BTW: I am currently looking for an Angel Investor who wants to pay for my hair transplants..... but a true Angel Investor who believes in my cause... and doesn't expect me to lick their taint or anything like that..... just putting that out there!) I grew up as a freckly-faced red head with a Jew-fro whose awkward stage was... well... sometimes I think it is STILL going on. (except for a few angles with great lighting!) I have had issues with my hair my whole life. Now... the fuckers won't grow at all, except now, I am in a business where your appearance is extremely important.... and now I would take that giant Jew-fro because at least it would be growing in thick where my giant excuse for a forehead is now. My face... well.... i don't think it is anything special. I'm not going to be winning any beauty competitions any time soon....and I ain't getting any younger! My nose is kinda big and long... but I am a fan of my eye-lashes! they are really curly and..... well... actually a bit feminine for a man! GREAT! So... maybe I'm not a big fan of my eye-lashes anymore. DAMN! I am surrounded by gorgeous people all the time in this business, and often I am grouped in with these guys, but I think it is more because of my body than my face. I'm not the Wholesome, All-American looking Abercrombie guy. I tend to get thought of for the sexy, buff looking guys...(which, of coures, makes me more obsessed at the gym) However, this is so strange to me, because anyone who really knows me would probably say I'm a total whack-a-do, who makes funny voices and weird faces... and jumps into strange, and self-proclaimed HILARIOUS characters for no apparent reason.

WHAT THE FUCK AM I TALKING ABOUT ANYMORE??? WHERE AM I GOING WITH THIS????

Basically, I keep talking like I don't know what to do... But now I think that 'talk' is just a defense mechanism and a form of procrastination. I know what has to be done.... In the words of my father... FUCK EM! (not literally.... that would be bringing us back to the pornography.... and I have already cleaned up after the one-eyed dwarf.... who I forgot to mention also had a club-foot....hey...i have a club-foot fetish, don't judge!) ' Fuck em' meaning: I want to play all types of roles....different characters. It is my job to show everyone what I am capable of. If I get an opportunity to audition for roles that someone might not think I am the right type for... then I need to do whatever I can to change their minds. If I can't change their minds the first time, then I need to keep going in and serving that shit up until I audition myself right out of the box that they may (or may not) have put me in. I need to be as prepared as possible when the few chances this business gives you come! I need to take risks. I need to be fearless. And I need to trust that I can accomplish this, cause this is what I love to do ,this is what I want to do.... and I don't accept failure that easily.

And I love porn.

Love and Cleveland Steamers!

Ven

1 comment:

AJR said...

My mother did have a c-section, and I'm still obsessed with sex. So it's a crap-shoot.