I Have a Giant One..

Yes.... I said it. I have a giant one. I great, big, giant, full one. It's called.... A "To Do List."

I have a giant To Do list.... yet still find myself feeling like I have nothing to do. Why is that? What is wrong with me that I could spend so much time writing down everything that I feel needs to get done in my life... but when it comes around to actually doing it.... I can't get started? If my To Do list looked like the following.... I would have been able to check everything off, and would probably have to schedule time to Stop doing my To Do List: Actually... I should call this my "Already Doing List":

Masturbate

Go to Starbucks

Masturbate again

Drink more coffee

Eat

Eat some more

Watch a smidge of Television.

Look up irrelevant bullshit online.

Masturbate

Google Myself. (I call this a "vanity search'")

Check Facebook.

Order another Iced Venti unsweetened Iced Coffee.

So... basically... I complain and complain that I am not accomplishing anything.... yet the only things I seem to be able to do is play with my pecker and drink coffee.

Here's my real "To Do List":

-Find 2 monologues to audition for One on One Studios with.

-Work on audition songs.

-Find a great On Camera acting class

-Gym (I DO THIS ONE EVERY DAY!!!!!..... Check!)

-Call Sprint and have those bitches send me something that will allow me to use my cell phone in my apartment.... because just my luck... My apartment is the only place in New York fuckin' City that my phone doesn't get service. Really Sprint? REALLY?

-Work on the script for my Musical..... Which is fucking hysterical.... but I can't seem to buckle down and continue writing it. Yet ironically... I am blogging about how I am not writing.

-Make a music video.. Random right? Don't judge.

-Find my original To Do list!

And Finally (though I am sure I have missed a few.... )

-GET A FUCKING JOB!!!!!!!!!!!

Each night since I have gotten home... I have been stressed out that I am not accomplishing my goals... I haven't been working hard enough... I haven't been doing enough to move forward and improve my skills... BLAH BLAH fucking BLAH... What is it going to take to light a fire under my ass.... one that is not a type of rash... and get started? What is it that is holding me back? Am I afraid? If so, what the fuck am I afraid of? It can't be any worse... I'm already unemployed! Am I afraid of Rejection? Then I'm in the wrong business!!! Am I afraid of Failure? What a pussy! Am I afraid of Success? Then what's the point? I'm sure as hell not afraid of spending a lot of time whipping out my kibbles and bits and wasting a bunch of possible offspring!

Am I overwhelming myself with shit? Should I edit my list to just one thing?? OR!!!! This is the beauty of streaming consciousness... some stuff just comes to you... Maybe I can make my list smaller and just put a daily list together... I bet it would be easier for me to accomplish just one of my goals per day.... instead of trying to finish all of them...and getting NONE done. I'm A FUCKING GENIUS people... Do you hear me???? A GENIUS! So.... the first thing To Do:

-Write a new To Do List!

oh-kaaaay. Which one to pick?

THIS SUCKS!

I'm gonna go "Two-pump and a dump" it and get some coffee.

"To Do Lists" can SUCK MY BALLS!

Ven