Big Mushroom Head...shots.

A short list of Things I Hate Doing:    

Throwing up

Murdering bunnies

Burning my taint on a waffle iron

Getting an STD

Eating Gefilte Fish

Fellating a Grizzy Bear

Slipping in a homeless man's feces

Having to pretend I don't notice you're a little person

Auditioning

and the point of this entry.....      

Picking a headshot!   

This past week I had headshots taken by two separate, talented photographers.  "Why did you have two photographers take your headshots" you might ask? Well...   let me explain!  Stop pestering me....DAD!  After showing my current headshots to my at-the-time, hopefully new agent, he, with the utmost delicacy....immediately suggested new ones.  The one where my hand is on the temple of my head, and I am SERVING IT UP with "eye"-tensity, yes...that one... the one that everyone says my eyes look really intense and other very complimentary things... HE HATED.  And he thought the other two shots were not going to help my fight to change my dancer-boy image to...well,   NOT a dancer-boy image. I agreed.  At that point I would have agreed to manipulate my scrotum and penis into the shape of a cheeseburger just to have him represent me, but luckily I didn't have to...  even though I've seen it online and can TOTALLY do it!   Anyhoo... He wanted me to get some "leading man, edgy" headshots and suggested I use this one photographer. So....  I call and make an appointment with this guy (which in itself is a big step for my procrastinating ass),  we meet...  completely enjoy each other's company (easily one of the nicest people I have ever met)... and schedule a day and time to take some glorious headshots that are going to make me a shining star.  So...  that is one photographer scheduled.. NEXT...   

A month or so before I left tour,  a friend of mine was talking to a friend of his (are you following all this???)  and somehow it came up that he was interested in photographing me...pro bono.  Not Sonny Bono...  or the new Chaz Bono...  but pro bono.   WELL!!!    Someone wants to take picture of me and I don't have to pay them???  I'm IN!!!  After another miraculous show of NOT procrastinating we wound up meeting,   totally hit it off, and scheduled a day to make magic....  a day that happened to be THE DAY BEFORE the other photo shoot.   Sooooo....   a week later... I have two photo shoots in two days...    

Photo shoot day one....    I arrive.   Pull out my clothes and hang them up. Pick out an outfit. We walk around Hells Kitchen, mostly 46th-50th Street between 9th and 10th Aves...  find some cool colors, areas,... take some shots....  change some clothes right there on the street...   take some shots...   pretend I'm Tyra Banks (we have the same forehead!).... head back to his apartment... change some clothes...  take some shots....  take off some clothing (I DONT DO NUDES... yet) and arrange the always loved Top Lighting...  take some shots in a speedo inside the studio in his apartment...  and finish with some more....   shots.   495+ shots in a few hours.   End of the day...Great time had by all!  All pics available online to peruse the next day. 

Photo shoot day two...  I get to the photographer's apartment, which is only like 8 blocks south and 2 blocks west of the first photographers (close...but in NYC, even one block can make a big difference!)....  The photographer made magic with the clothes that I brought.... and even lent me an undershirt and tie!  This guy could possibly be one of the nicest people in New York!  I brought some preppy, vibrantly-colored sweaters that I thought would pop in pictures...  and I WAS RIGHT by the way! However...  I should have purchased and brought that Hugo Boss slim-fit shirt and black tie that I really wanted to be photographed in, but I couldn't get myself to fork out the money for it....  I should have just done it!  DAMN!   UGH...  Sometimes I just irritate myself so much! Now, since I wasn't in my uniform, a t-shirt and jeans combo that I always wear,  I was already a touch out of my element.  We leave the apartment and start going around a 5 block area, which was not the most comfortable environment for me. (Highly populated, lot of traffic, dirty, and the people who were nearby scared me....  I felt at any minute I was going to be called a faggot or something, which doesn't happen normally, but happened the last time I got headshots taken, so I knew it was a possibility...i guess there is something inherently gay about a man getting pictures taken,  who knew?)... So I sit on the dirty floor, take some shots....   walk around....  take some more shots sitting on the dirty pavement....  we run from a crazy, angry homeless man...    go back to apartment for outfit number 2....  same thing outside...at one point some woman in her car opened her window and asked us to remove a pigeon stuck on the hood of her car....  we declined.  I ain't touching a fuckin' pigeon.. HELL NO!   Back to apartment for outfit number 3....  then...  more of same thing outside. I've learned that I find it almost impossible to give you "leading-man edgy" whilst sitting flat-assed on a dirty city sidewalk, in preppy and brightly-colored sweaters, looking up at a camera. I know for next time! I couldn't even fake it.   By the end of the third outfit... I'm just done.  I realized after the shoot that I should have said something about how I was feeling... but at the time I felt like I was paying this photographer for his specific "artistic eye" and that it would be rude to not do what he suggested.  I still feel like that!  I mean... this is an amazing person, recommended to be by my newly signed agent (WOO HOO!!!!!!!  I have a new agent!) who has taken some amazing headshots for actors, and I felt like it was just my issues with the environment that I needed to get over and rise above.  WHICH I DIDN'T! I was so uncomfortable that I passed on a 4th outfit opportunity. Who does that?  ME apparently! The thought of having to put on another "leading-man, edgy" outfit and sit on the filthy floor of the concrete jungle one more time was stressing me out. I also felt so bad because I must have been soooo boring to take pictures of.  Yes... I actually felt bad because of how poorly I was performing.  I still get bothered at how passive I was just writing about it.  Okay okay ...  the point of this is not the shoot itself...  it is how I react to seeing picture of me!   So... let's move on.  

I get the link to all the pics from the first shoot... and a disc of all the shots from the second shoot.  Now the trauma really begins!  I look at pictures of myself and wonder which one of my chromosomes is missing!  I go through the shots... and basically.... I'm a mutant!  My ears are uneven, one eye has more lid than the other so it looks like I'm stoned... IN ONE EYE!   My upper lip isn't symmetrical so I sometimes look like the Joker from Batman....   My teeth sometimes look Giant... and my smile sometimes look so fake that I want to punch myself in the face.  My hairline is always the first thing I see.  And basically, how much I like a picture is directly related to how thick I think my hair looks.   I have learned that the only way I will like a picture of me.... is by being able to find the least things wrong with it.   Apparently...  I will only like a picture of me... if I can look at it and not throw up in my mouth.  I have become the kind of person who can only appreciate a picture of me where I look attractive...like this is the only thing that is important about me.  This isn't a good thing when trying to find a headshot.  People say that a headshot should have personality... I HAVE personality!  I got tons of that shit!  I got personality oozing out of my urethra...  Oh wait!  I better get that checked.  Where was I? Oh yeah... I am only comfortable with pictures of me if they are attractive and free from flaws (unless I am deliberately trying to look unattractive... then its okay...  that's COMEDY!)....  WELL.... I am full of flaws... and they are all I see when I look in the mirror or at pictures, so I am having a horrible time picking shots! I have asked a bunch of people to help me pick my new headshots...   and let's just say, if I had the choice between using some of the headshots people liked and sticking rusty, barbed wire in my pee hole,  I'd be needing a tetanus shot and some Spackle! 

So what is the point of this whole blog?  I guess a couple of things.  ONE....  I need to grow a pair of balls the next time I get headshots taken.  If there was ever a photographer  I could have expressed my concerns to, it was this one! So the next time,  I'm speaking up!   TWO... I have to learn to be objective when looking at pictures of myself.  My friend Lucia Spina really helped me look at my shots from a different angle, and helped me see that I don't have to look perfect for it to be a great headshot.  Looking my best might just be when I just look like me, imperfections and all!  A picture of me is just that... a picture.  And if I am picking a shot that is not fully representing me... then I'm doing myself a disservice....   Oh who the fuck am I kidding? I know that won't ever go away completely!  But I do know that I can't be perfect no matter how hard I try.   Maybe I can just focus on not being so hard on myself. Baby Steps people!  Rome wasn't built in a day!  

Some of my favorites.... though may not be great headshots!  

That last shot is white because of lighting!  Yes,  I'm very pale... but come on!  I'm not an albino... but I love the shot!   

I hope you are not as hard on yourselves as I am on myself...  but if you are,  know you are not alone.  But i think we can work through this with time. 

Oh...  one more thing I hate doing:    Giving an enema to Elaine Stritch.

Love Love Love

Ven

Bombs Away

So....    I bombed my first audition.  No... I'm not exaggerating....   I forgot the words to my song.  Yes...  there I was....   with a perfect song choice for the role I was auditioning for (A Light in the Dark from Next to Normal)  I start singing my song....   feeling good and connected, a true song bird resonating with such finesse...  when I hear something...   what is that???   Who is talking to me??  OH...  its ME! I hear my own voice in my head say, "Are you looking above the heads of the auditioners so I don't make them uncomfortable by looking directly at them like you've heard a million times??...  yeah..  check!"  AWESOME!!!  I'm gonna book this shit!!!!    Then I hear me again.... "do these people think I look like a crazy person deliberately looking over their heads, trying not to make eye contact???"  Just keep focusing above them!!   The next think I know I'm thinking, "hmmmm,  I wonder why this part of the music doesn't sound familiar!? Damn, the people they hire to play the piano at these things really sucks my balls...  "  .... followed by, "OH SHIT!!!!   ITS ME!!!  I FUCKED UP!!!!   I skipped to a differnt part of the song!!!"   I tried as hard as I could to use my telepathic powers to direct the pianist to the section of the song I skipped to,  but I must have lost those powers in the war.  So I did the only thing I could do.   I  said, out loud, to the people I'm trying to get to hire me....   "I have NO IDEA where I am in this song!"  and then did a sensible Deep Lunge and put my hands on my hips...   cause nothing shows confidence like a man in a pair of gorgeous grey slacks, perfectly fitted light blue dress shirt, and pink and blue tie in a half-windsor knot,   like a hands-on-hip deep lunge!   Surprsingly, the auditioners were very nice...   even saying how much they were enjoying it up to that point.... (i want to believe they were telling the truth...but doubt it!) I sauntered over to the pianist.... thanked him for trying to help me out even though it was futile (and apologized on my inside for initially blaming it on him)...  and asked him to pick it up from a part toward the end and then addressed the creative team by saying, "So... I'm just gonna start from the end and BRING IT HOME!"  (who am I, Ethel Fuckin' Merman?)   I finished singing my song.... and then went to get my stuff and started to walk out... when they asked me to read the 2nd scene of the 2 that they gave me...  SO..... that would be the second time in 3 minutes where I DEFEATED MYSELF!  I read the sides with some guy sitting in a chair in the corner, cause that is a real theatrical environment,  and was finally allowed to leave the room with my tail betwixt my legs.
I HATE AUDITIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   I fucking hate them!   I spent the past week working on a song that I was given from the show, specifically for that audition...   and was only asked to sing my own song.  Yes, I was told to have my own song....   but....   I was prepared to sing YOUR song!   WHAT THE FUCK!!!!????   I am accepting total responsibility, but it is still irritating!  I should have been more prepared with my own song....   but I just assumed I would be able to pop that shit out....  I WAS WRONG!   I need to be more on top of this..  I need to make sure that I am able to perform my audition songs at the drop of the hat!  Right now, I am unable to do this.

So here's my plan.

Watch some porn.

THEN....   I am going to rent rehearsal space at a studio in the city...   and prepare each song in my book that I plan on using at some point in an audition as if it is a finished, onstage performance.   I did this with two auditions before and booked them both!   I am completely aware at my current inability to just go into a random room in a random studio, in front of random people, and just let my instincts book me a job.   NOPE.. NOT GONNA HAPPEN!   I need to have it mapped out... I need to have it choreographed.... directed... whatever!!! I just need it to feel like a finished product.   I can't just walk in there and make magic...  but I know I can make magic when I'm on stage! (and having sex.... wanna see?)  So I have to prepare my audition material as if it is going to be performed ON STAGE!  I am going to make sure this recent audition experience never happens again!  I was so disappointed in myself....  I let myself down by not being prepared in the way I need to be prepared.   I was so saddened by my showing that the only thing I could do the rest of the day was go home... order a large pizza, eat the whole thing,  eat a bag of peanut M&Ms, and sulk.  

But, since I'm a man with a goal....   I must find the positive!

The positives:

ONE:   I'm still able to eat a whole large pizza by myself! HOLLA!!!!!  Gluttons UNITE!!!  WOO HOO!

TWO:  It can only get better from here,   RIGHT?  I mean... unless I take a giant turd in my pantalones vaqueros during an audition... It can't get much worse!

and C:    I know what needs to be done!   and I can do it!!!!  

Also...   a friend of mine told me a trick one of his friends does before his auditions.  He goes to the bathroom and gets himself a chubby before walking into the room.   He said it gives him a little more mojo....  so....  hey.. I'm gonna try it.  Nothing like spanking it a bit before singing a musical theatre standard, and anything that gets my hands on my dong is okay by me!

LOVE LOVE LOVE

I still can't believe I did a deep lunge in front of people I want to cast me.

Ven

Judge and Jury

A long long time ago,  in a city far far away, there was a little boy.   A little redheaded boy with the longest lashes....  and giant teeth that he hadn’t quite grown into yet.  An innocent boy yet to be destroyed by the evil forces of judgement.  That boy.... was me.  

We all have moments in our lives where we judge. At least, for purposes of this entry, I am going to say ‘ALL.’  We judge others, we judge ourselves, we judge ... Judy. If we were able to read the minds of others, I think it would be nearly impossible to find a human who hasn’t judged someone else.  If you are one of those people who are able to read minds,  please,  leave a comment at the end of this cause I would love to hear from you....  and then probably judge you as being crazy.  Sorry about it... just being honest. 

Now, I say I was destroyed by the evil forces of judgement, but I want to be clear that in addition to having at times been emotionally wrecked from judgement weighed uponst me (‘uponst’ just sounds more regal)....  I am speaking specifically about how my judgement on others has destroyed me and  my ability to enjoy theatrical events and performances.  Somewhere in my life a switch was made.   I went from someone who could get lost in the world of a musical, enjoying my time being taken on a jaunt riding a Showboat through a mystical land called Brigadoon (which only comes around once every hundred years), whilst Defying Gravity with People who need People....   to a jaded theatre critic.  When and how did this start?  When will it end?  How can I change this?  

The first professional show I saw was Miss Saigon at the Broward Center for the Performing Arts starring.....   no one famous.  I was at the edge of my seat the entire show....  which probably irritated the people in the row in front of me....   but fuck them...THERE WAS A HELICOPTER ON THE STAGE, what did they expect?  My friend Jill and I sang the entire soundtra.....pardon me you theater snobs... Cast Recording everyday in her car, acting out the important parts with our arms....since that is how you “act” before you have any training....and having recently watched a bootleg of a show I was in....after training as well! At no point during the performance did I turn to my friend and make some douche-bag comment about the talent of the actors on stage, or my disagreement of their “choices,” or lack there of.

Fast Forward to college.   There I am, a freshman at New World School of the Arts....I repeat... a FRESHMAN....  watching a fellow classmate mutilating a scene in one of our weekly assignments theoretically meant to teach us skills to later be used in our future profession.  After her attempt at ‘playing an action’ the rest of the class took turns doing something that I have  never, in my 10 years of working in this business done.   We openly critiqued and discussed this person’s work IN FRONT OF HER.  We were basically given permission to either (uncommonly) praise or.....  more importantly and unfortunately NOT praise our classmate’s work.  So, basically, one of the main things I learned was how to watch another actor’s work specifically for the purpose of picking it apart, looking for what was wrong, and thinking how “I,” the all-knowing expert of all acting, would do it.  I don’t remember having any problem with this as a Freshman.... or... well,  until a few years ago.   Then, once again, something changed.  I’m an ever-changing kind of guy!  What can I say?  

At some point in the last, however many years, I became highly irritated with how judgmental I was.  I was no longer able to go see a broadway show without feeling like I was back in my freshman class at school waiting my turn to critique the shit out it.   Let me remind you.... I was WATCHING the broadway show....which usually means that I was NOT IN ONE at the time! Who the fuck was I?  Who did I think I was?   I’ll tell you,  from the perspective of me now.... I was an insecure asshole, ridden with self-entitlement, trying my hardest to feel better about myself by bringing other’s down.  Now, I’m not saying that my critiques about shows and performances weren’t spot on, well thought out, intelligently composed, articulate, and New York Times worthy... but the fact that I had these negative things spewing out of me unsolicited, said much more about myself then the work itself.  There I was.... focusing on the bad.  Focusing on the bad so much, that I found myself looking for it.  And when you are spending so much time during a performance looking for the bad, you’re bound to miss all the good.  Well that’s just not fair to anyone!  Is is possible to change a habit so deeply ingrained in your brain? As funny as I sometimes think I can be, the gales of laughter coming from my fellow listeners couldn’t drown out the sound of my insecurity and guilt pulsing through my veins. This must end!

Introduce:  Leslie McDonel.  To go into detail of how inspirational this fine actress is would take an entire entry of its own, so I will just say....I am blessed to have met this person.  So, in keeping with this entry, one day when having a talk with this angel of amazing-ness she said one of many enlightening things that have resonated within my loins.  “The best learn from the best.”  I think the context of the conversation was about taking a class or finding a voice teacher.... or something,  but in the past 2 years since meeting Leslie, I have taken that one saying and applied it to my judgement issues.  Now, I am sure I could argue that just saying someone is “the best” implies judging that other’s aren’t as good, but I am choosing to use it as a positive tool. A tool to look for the best in people.  I am constantly looking to improve and learn, and now, having adopted this, i guess you could call it a philosophy, I am moving, ever so slowly, toward looking for the best in people.... as an attempt to learn from them and grow. And  I think it is working. 

The other night, I got two free tickets to see the broadway show In The Heights.  I had a great time, and loved the show!  There were a few times where, yes, I was being a smidge judgy about a few things... but....  most of the time... I was just at the edge of my seat, looking for the best in everyone. I was even trying to find the best part of the one lazy female ensemble dancer. (Hey...it’s hard to change completely that fast!!!  COME ON!) um..... she looked good in hoochie shorts.  There... I said the positive.  During intermission, I was standing in a small group, and low and behold....  these people were letting some of the actors HAVE IT!  “horrible”  this...  “terrible” that....  “I can’t belive” ... blah blah blah.... Normally, I probably would have been very active in this conversation, but this time I just couldn’t take part.  I had to excuse myself from the group and go talk to the lovely young person who got me the tickets.  I would say, this is a step in the right direction.   I may not be able to choose my initial reaction, but I have the choice not to be a miserable prick. I am saying "NO" to prick. I am going to look for the best. I am not going to allow my insecurities to turn me into an arrogant asshole who uses every opportunity to trash talk my peers.  My peers who are probably going through the same trials and tribulations as I am in this business.  I am, however, going to choose to allow myself to be inspired by the hard work and success of others....the positives.....   The Best learn from the Best! I want to be the best!  And now, when I go see a show, I’m going to look for the best....   so don’t fuck up!  ooops... DAMN!   

Why can’t anything just be easy!?  

Now I just need to go see more shows and see if this is working!   Anyone want to buy me some tickets?  I'm unemployed!

My coffee just hit my bowels....   gotta go! 

Ven

Blue Moon.... You Saw Me Standing... a bit Flat.

I've decided to try a new place today.  It's called Starbucks.  Basically, if you haven't figured it out...  I go to the Bucks de Star quite a bit....a lot of times because I am early to EVERYTHING.... so it is a place where I can kill a few minutes (or an hour....that's how early I can sometimes be), get out of the heat, get out of the cold, get out of the way, and sometimes I jump in a Starbucks when I see someone I know and don't particularly enjoy in order to avoid an insincere exchange of meaningless pleasantries.  Basically....   if I see you on the street and we have a moment,  it is completely sincere....and you know this because I haven't jumped into a store to avoid you.  But that doesn't mean I have any idea what your name is.  JUST SAYIN'.

I'm killing time before heading to my second voice lesson since I've been back.  My last lesson was kind of a bust, but as usual, eye opening and amazing.  I work with a man named D. Michael Heath.  Now....  I know everyone is supposed to LOVE their voice teacher...and think they are the best, so I'm not going to harp on how...  well.... on how I love my voice teacher and think he is the best.  Right now, he is the best.... for me!

I've always loved singing.  It was one of the things I have loved to do since I was little.  I never expressed how much I truly enjoyed singing when I was growing up, but I think my parents and sister can vouch for the fact that the radio or CD player was always blasting and I was always belting it out in the shower.  I loved singing Broadway shows, pop, and country more than anything,  and my best friend in High School Jill (a.k.a. Jill Bill) and I would sing Miss Saigon at the top of our lungs in her Candy Apple Red convertible Nissan (I think) that kept falling apart every time we got into it.... AND IT WAS A NEW CAR!   Oh,  and just as a side note....  I still have nightmares of driving in the car with Jill....  thoughts of me screaming to her, "Jill... JILL... you're on the grass... YOU'RE ON THE GRASS!!!!"   (we were on a major street....where we weren't supposed to be anywhere near the grass)  Oh I loved my little bad-driver Jill.... She's probably mailing me some Anthrax right now after reading this.  Sorry....but not really.
Singing wasn't anything my family pushed me toward.  They basically pushed school and sports.   And at one point my Dad offered to get me piano lessons, but I declined...I mean.. I wanted to SING,  not tickle the Ivories!  But I never asked for voice lessons, not even knowing they had such a thing...so no hard feelings.  I had other things I was dealing with anyway, like my Big Red Mullet.
Flashback.... So there I was, 12 year old me and my family at Boardwalk and Baseball....an amusement park long since closed, when I saw it.  A cheap, amusement parky recording studio where you can sing to a horrible karaoke track and then.... MAKE A MUSIC VIDEO!   "Dad...DAD.... can we do that?"   My Dad, being a musical theatre, song and dance man himself was on board for an opportunity to showcase his booming bass/barritone and charming video personality.  We immediate name our duo  THE SCHMECHELS,  we were going to be FAMOUS!   I just knew it!  We recorded Blue Moon.... me signing lead, of course, and my dad doing all the backup and cool bee-bop-doop-de-doos and shit.  Then we taped the video.   Look out MTV.... here come The Schmechels!   We end the session....   we end the day...   then...  after the unveiling of our masterpiece for my dad's business partner, he turns to me, looking up at him all wide-eyed and ready for praise from my adoring fan and says what all aspiring singing stars want to hear.........."So.... you're apparently NOT going to be a singer!"  I WAS CRUSHED.  I am 33 and thoughts of this experience still cripple my confidence when I vibrate my vocal chords together to sing a diddy.  This was just the first of many times I have heard, weather blatantly to my face, or off the cuff,  references to me not being a singer.  The wounds can easily be opened still...   but...
FLASH FORWARD!  Summer,  2009.  I have just spent 1 year on the road in a little, hugely successful tour of Legally Blonde, and I tear the cartilage in my left knee.  BOOTS!   I'm out.  10 weeks healing from surgery.  An email address in hand from my closest friend and newest inspiration Natalie Joy Johnson for a voice teacher that changed her life.  My brain is spinning.... Natalie Joy Johnson... amazing singer,  gets this voice teacher from another amazing, singing Broadway sensation...this email address comes with a warning... DO NOT START WORKING WITH HIM UNLESS YOU'RE READY.  UNLESS YOU'RE READY TO WORK, BELIEVE, AND CHANGE YOUR LIFE... Well....  I'm ready!  I'm READY WORLD!!!!  I want to be able to finally sing!  To be a singer!  My newly hacked knee propped up on my couch, I email him.  To my surprise....  he emails me back...  he said he would love to work with me.  OH MY GOD!   I go....   and the transformation begins!  The next year of my life on the road with this new vocal information was incredible.  I was practicing every day.  Warming up before every show (Sorry guys....I tried to do it away from the dressing room as often as possible) Exploring new sounds, trying new placements....  JUST GROWING... and trying as hard as possible not to judge the sounds that I was making.    And just waiting 'til I was back in NYC and able to study more with this amazing teacher.

Now, I'm aware of how often I saw things "Change my Life."  And I know that when you make Everything important, then Nothing is important.  But in the past two years, I have has so many life changing experiences,  but meeting D. Michael Heath and study voice with him has been one of the biggest, most influential experiences in my life.  I am not saying that NOW, after studying with this man for....  20 lessons maybe, that I'm now a singing sensation.  But I am saying,  that because I have been working with this human divining rod, I have tools.   I have information, and awareness of my vocal instrument, an instrument I've had my whole life but am now just discovering how to play.  Each lesson, whether I come away with it without a face  (from SINGING MY FACE OFF!!!),  or a little disappointed cause I was not connected and present, I have grown as a master of my own fate.  He says there are "no wrong sounds."   He tells me , "It's just air.... just air passing over your chords."  He gives me confidence that if I work hard,  and practice.... I can be  (my last daily affirmation...) "a great singer who tells a story through song."

So,   all you miserable bastards (Glenn R. Haft excluded) who throughout my schooling and career have for some reason felt the need to express their negative opinions about my singing ability to my face can lick my balls!  Get em good and wet....    but now I have to dry them off because I have to get to my voice lesson.

To those of you who have been nothing but supportive and full of love.  Thank you.
 LOVE LOVE LOVE

To myself.   Fuck 'em... YOU CAN DO IT!


Ven